Guide To Charming Every Man Around You

We've all seen it: a girl that seems to have all the guys wrapped around her little finger. She can make them laugh, engage them in meaningful conversation, and preserve a little soft spot in their hearts for her. This girl doesn't seem to be doing much more than chatting and smiling. Is it her looks? Her personality? All of us ladies have asked at one time or another: How does she do it?

She's figured out how to flirt with her body and mind. Flirting doesn't always have to be obvious. The best flirters can pull it off without their target even realizing it! Body language and certain ways that a woman does or says things can make all the difference. By means of the trials and errors of dating, I have compiled a few of my favorite tricks to charming all the males around you! As you read, you'll see some of these tips can actually be used to make other people fonder of you, not just a potential mate. Read on, lovely readers.

• Smile as much as possible. This may be the simplest thing you could do to be more attractive. Guys are deathly afraid of rejection, and appearing to be in a great mood will instantly make them feel more comfortable approaching you. To those that already know you, looking happy and friendly will put them in a good mood, and allow them to relax and be themselves. If you're not naturally a smiler, you need to make a conscious effort to slap that smile on your face whether you feel like it or not. Pretty soon it will become a habit and you'll be smiling without even thinking about it. Another great thing about smiling when you're not feeling too hot is that it will actually make you feel happier after a while. Fake it 'til you make it, baby!

• Make eye contact. This goes hand in hand with smiling. The longer you make eye contact with a person, the more their brain tells them that the eyes they are looking into are worthy of love. Making eye contact for awhile without breaking it (10 seconds or more) will start a bond between you two. His body and brain will tell him that you are a genuine person. Eye contact makes people feel special because they feel they are being given your full and present attention (even if you are thinking about something else... Hehe!)

• Good compliments. "You look great today!" "I love your shirt!" These compliments are nice. If you mean them, there's no problem with saying them. But every once in awhile, give 'em a stunner. The best compliments are novelties, little details you have noted about them that they may have never heard before. For example, I once had a boy tell me that I had a lovely back. What? Who says that?? I melted. For a guy you could say something like, "You have nice hands. They're strong and dextrous." Cheesy, I know, but they still love to hear it! Also, the delivery is everything. Avoid sounding superficial at all costs. Here's my little routine: take a thoughtful pause, cock your head slightly, examine the quality you are about to compliment, then say it as casually as you can. It seems much more sincere this way, as if you thought of it at that very second, as opposed to saying it way too enthusiastically and planned. Of course, follow up with eye contact and a nice smile. If you want to lay it on thick, touch his hand or arm very slightly.
  

• Watch the news. Guys want a girl that knows what's going on around her, and has more to talk about than life in her own bubble. Forget the old idea that men want someone dumb so that they can feel smart. Please be smart! It's powerful and attractive. The key here is to have a little material to spark a real conversation. Read a book, read the newspaper, watch a documentary, movies, etc. Even just half the morning news should have the desired effect. Or do all of them! Many guys are into sports, so if you're not following the games I would suggest at least glancing at the scores. It's far better to have a genuine reaction to "How 'bout them Sharks?" (woohoo San Jose!) rather than a vacant stare and a fake smile. No need to follow too intensely if you really don't want to, just know the basics.
  

• Remain in demand. By this I mean that you shouldn't give them your attention too easily. Guys love a good challenge, and they love the chase. Don't overdo playing hard-to-get to the point of cruelty, but try to always leave them wanting more. It's all a simple case of supply and demand, really. Get your hooks into him, and soon after you've made a good connection, find an excuse to leave his presence. A sneaky little trick you could add on would be to give a little smile or cute look at another guy as you're walking away so that Guy #1 can't see that you initiated the smile (your back is facing him now), but he will see that Guy #2 smiled/looked at you. This creates the impression that you are wanted by many, not just him. See? Supply him with a bit of attention and flirtation, and then run away and make yourself in-demand. Guys (and all people, actually) love to lust after something they can't have. The perfect balance of attention and subsequent unavailability will work wonders. ;)

• Be a sweetheart. A lot of attractive girls have a reputation for being snobs. They treat others a little badly because... they can. Others may still think they're hot despite their crappy personality, but soon you'll see that people aren't totally captivated by them. Don't be a jerk, even if you can get away with it! In the long run people will appreciate you being nice and fall in love with you, inside and out. :) Offer to get them some coffee. Put an arm around their shoulder for a second. Tell them they're totally adorable once in awhile (guys or girls). When you make someone feel nice, they associate that feeling with you and will love being around you. But don't overdo it! You don't want people to think you're a doormat. Which brings me to my next point...

• Don't be a pushover. Being nice and standing up for yourself are not mutually exclusive. If someone consistently does something rude because they assume you won't complain, boy have they got the wrong impression of you! No, I'm not advocating cussing out your coworkers or fist fights. But I am advocating bringing up tense situations in a mature, yet firm manner. I can't tell you how many times this method has stunned rude people into a mess of nonsense comebacks (I win!). I always try to confront people as simply and directly as possible. For example, "Why did you do that? That's not very nice." Soooo easy! You just want to bring it to their attention that you are not afraid of them. It's showing that you have enough self-respect to balls up and say something. Many times they'll just freeze up and maybe even use a cuss word or two. As soon as they do that, they've lost all clout as far as being the more mature one. They no longer have an excuse. The rude person might get flustered and cause more tension because they didn't enjoy being stood up to, but don't worry. I'm willing to bet that everyone else around you is cheering you on (although maybe secretly) because they agree with you. This move will earn the respect of everyone around you. You go, girl!

I hope these little tricks are helpful to you girls out there. Let me know how they work out! Good luck! Charm those boys! ;)

Xoxo,

Jasmine.